Lately, my mind is in a constant struggle as to whether I should stay and travel the country in a van or travel abroad and backpack Southeast Asia.
I have always had a dream of traveling abroad for a year, or longer if possible. But I have never been in the situation where I could do that while being married, working on my career, continuing education blah blah blah.
So several years back when I became single again, I was thinking it was the perfect time to do it. I had nothing holding me back anymore. Not tied to a relationship, no more mortgage, no children and no debt other than my car loan. But I just felt like it wasn’t something I had the guts to do on my own. I kept talking about it but knew I wouldn’t actually do it. That’s when I came across the tiny house movement and then later the van dwelling lifestyle. I felt that was a safer option for me. As usual, I always take the ‘safe’ road.
Needless to say I’ve been dreaming for the last year or so about buying a van to live in and travel the country. But you know this already because that’s what my entire blog has been about.
Well, I have to admit. For the last month or so I have been feeling a strong pull to do the backpacking abroad option again.
Why am I so confused as to what I want to do? I keep waiting for a sign or something to tell me which direction I should go. But I know ultimately I need to decide what’s best for me.
I feel like if I do the van option first then I’ll never follow through with the travel abroad. But if I do the travel abroad option first then I won’t have resources when I get back to purchase and customize a van. What to do…..what to do.
I think once I actually get rid of all my crap and get out of my apartment, it will just come to me what I should do. Who knows but I hope so because I’m so torn.
Story of my life.